Today was one of those days, just plain empty. Earlier this week, I was told at a "family" meeting at the hospital, where my Dad has been since January that he has Alzheimer's and will not be returning to his home of the past 55 years. A little bit of a shock to actually hear the words, but not a total surprise. To make matter's worse my Mom's dementia is worse than my Dad's. She's now living in their home alone and placement in a facility will also be done for her.
My first reaction to the news was to find them an assisted living apartment so they could be together. Turns out the dementia is to far progressed for either of them to live in assisted living, they will both need to be in a "safe" facility, which simply means "locked". At least they would be taken care of, feed and safe. So the cup is still half full.
In talking to Homecare, who is providing services to my Mom, I was advised that they would start the placement service by putting her on the list for available spaces. Turns out this is not the same system that finds my Dad a place, as he is still under hospital care. I thought that it would be one person, doing both their placements so that they would be in the same facility. Well not so. Seems it isn't a priority for a couple who has been married for over 60 years to remain together. Thus, emptying the cup.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a new day to start with a full cup, make some phone calls and see if I can find someone who will help to keep them together.
14 comments:
Prayers for you Susan and all that you are dealing with. That is so sad that there is no priority placed on keeping them together both for their sakes and for the sake of the family.
Thinking of you Susan at this difficult time. I am so surprised that priority is not given to keeping couples together...
So sad to see your parents in this situation - I hope you find them somewhere suitable. I love your photo too - beautiful.
You and your family, especially your parents are in my prayers too. I'm especially praying that there is a way to keep your mom and dad together.
Soon your cup will be overflowing again.
Susan, I'm so sorry for all you're dealing with...I'm sending prayers to you and your family. I hope that ultimately your parents will be able to live near each other. Sending you good thoughts!
This is a tough time, for sure. Sometimes I wonder if the people making decisions that don't prioritize senior couples staying together would ever stand for such a decision themselves...doubt it! I hope that you experience a good outcome. Don't give up hope!
Prayers for resolution..and for strength for you and your family.
oh Susan, I'm so sorry. I'm afraid we will be dealing with the same thing here in a short time. But it's my husband's folks. Will keep you in my prayers.
Bless your heart! I can't even imagine having to go through this! (((Hugs))) to you. Very lovely teacup photo!!
So sorry that you have to go through this. Prayers are lifted for you.
Thinking of you Susan. Went thru all the different stages w/ my Mom and she is now in what will be her final facility but well cared for and seems content. It is very hard but there is peace in knowing they are being looked after 24/7. Praying for strength..
Susan - please feel the love coming your way. My mother is in your 13th year of horrible Alzheimers. When my dad had brain surgery in 2009 for a cancer that took him 6 months after he was diagnosed, she did not even know who he was. It is a cruel disease...and I've lost my best friend. I'm praying for your strength and for what is best for your parents. As a social worker, I work hard to beat the system for others...often a system that is concerned more about funds than the best interest of the person that it is serving. xo
Susan, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It is so hard. We dealt with it three years ago with my in-laws. My mother-in-law never could remember her husband was gone. Best of luck to you. I pray you find a suitable place who cares and respects them. And take care of you. Even on a plane, they say to take your oxygen first. It is a trying process.
Susan, I'll be thinking about you. I can only imagine how tough this is for you.
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